🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?